Ten weeks ago I started a new adventure: a podcast. This podcasting world is still very new to me. I sometimes stumble when searching for the right words. I embrace technology and I also embrace simplicity; sometimes these two worlds collide without grace. And, getting comfortable in my closet, the only quiet place in my house, is a bit of a challenge still. Yet, I am hungry for more learning; more conversations; and more reflection. Why?

Shared experiences: Through my conversations with autism parents and individuals on the autism spectrum, my learning is that I am not alone. If anything, we collectively have more experiences that bring us together than those that divide us. Take my conversation with Catherine Hughes, the Chief Inspiration Officer of Caffeinated Advocate, for example. Much of her early parenting journey was molded by the cold stares and harsh judgments from people who didn’t even know her. In fact, her journey as an autism mother started when she was arrested because of a snap-judgment made about Catherine’s parenting during her son’s sensory meltdown. I am also aware of sensory meltdowns, and I have also lived in fear of what others will think of me when watching how I respond to and support my son when his world is overtaken by his surroundings. Am I worthy of this mothering gig?

Empathy is the only option: Yes, we are all uniquely different. We are beautiful and different snowflakes: no two are alike. When we assume that our children will respond and react the same way as another child, either with autism or not, then we are telling the world that listening to someone else’s perspective is no longer important. In essence, the question that I continue to hear throughout my conversations is this one: How can I help? This is the question that mothers with kids having a sensory meltdown want to hear from us, rather than steely stare and hushed talked to others. This is the same question that self-advocates want others to ask when we notice someone who is pacing in the grocery aisles because of feelings of overwhelm and frustration. And, this, is the question that our kids deserve to hear. Our kids need to hear that caring humans surround them and are also there to support their parents and friends and neighbors in times of need.

Let go of expectations around desired outcomes: I’ll be the first to raise my hand with a response to this statement. I truly hold so many expectations around my professional life, my fitness goals, my sleep patterns, how my kids SHOULD respond, and even my love life. And, you guessed it. The tighter we hold onto to our desired outcomes, then the more difficult it becomes to just respond in the moment; to be present; to listen to each other. As an autism mom, I know the expectations that I put onto myself and, yes, even my own kids because I am so committed to goals and how goals can help us realize our dreams when they bloom. I am also learning, and practicing more and more, that just because I’m armed with so much knowledge from my twenty-years serving in public education as both a teacher and a school administrator, doesn’t mean that I know what is best in every moment for my own kids. My guests on my podcast have certainly taught me this in more ways than I can even refer to right now.

So, thank you to each of you who has tuned into the Empathy, Joy & Autism podcast. Thank you to my guests who are my teachers of courage and empathy.

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