As a parenting coach, I often meet clients who struggle to let go of their history as a parent or a child who was traumatized. It’s essential to recognize that our upbringing and past experiences shape us as individuals and may impact how we parent our own children. However, it’s important to realize that we have the power to create our own destiny as parents.
Envisioning what we truly desire to feel as parents can help us release any negative emotions or fears we may have carried from our past. Ask yourself, what kind of parent do I want to be? What values do I want to instill in my child? What lessons do I want them to learn from me?
It’s crucial to let go of any insecurities or limiting beliefs that may be holding us back from being the parent we truly desire to be. As Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, states, “our job as a parent is not to be perfect but to be present, validating, and empathetic.”
Recognize that you are doing the very best with the tools you have in place. However, you are not alone in this parenting journey. Seek support from fellow parents, parenting coaches, or therapists to help you work through any emotional or behavioral challenges you may face.
Remember, our children learn by example. The more we prioritize our own well-being and practice self-care, the more we show our children that taking care of oneself is necessary for a healthy and fulfilling life. As Dr. Diana Baumrind, a renowned developmental psychologist, states, “children learn problem-solving, self-control, and social skills from us more through observation than through instruction.”
So, I challenge you to take a step back and ask yourself, “What kind of parent do I truly want to be?” Take the time to see your own history and let go of the things that are holding you back. Remember, you have the power to create your own destiny as a parent.
As a parenting coach, I have had the privilege of witnessing countless families thrive through intentional and compassionate parenting practices. Parenting from a place of love and compassion does not mean being overly permissive or neglecting boundaries. Rather, it entails being attuned to the unique needs of each child and responding with empathy and kindness. One key way to parent with compassion is by practicing positive discipline, which emphasizes respectful communication and providing clear expectations. This type of discipline teaches children the skills they need to navigate the world with empathy and self-regulation. Another effective way to parent with compassion is by nurturing strong parent-child relationships through daily affirmations, spending quality time together, and practicing active listening. By fostering a strong emotional connection, children feel safer and more secure, which supports their overall well-being. Finally, modeling self-compassion and self-care is another powerful way to parent from a place of love and compassion. When parents prioritize their own well-being, they demonstrate that self-care is crucial to overall health and happiness. In turn, children learn to prioritize their own self-care and well-being. When parents prioritize love and compassion in their parenting, children thrive and grow into emotionally intelligent and resilient adults.
What kind of parent do you want to be?
Take some time to reflect on what kind of parent you want to be. Make a list of values and lessons you want to instill in your child and commit to prioritizing self-care to be the best version of yourself for them. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and commitment to being the best parent possible.
In conclusion, as parents who may be caring for both children and aging parents, it’s essential to let go of any negative emotions or fears from our past and envision the parent we truly want to be. Seek support and prioritize self-care to be the best version of ourselves for our children. Let us commit to being present, validating, and empathetic parents and create a positive cycle of parenting for future generations.
Are you ready?
As a parenting coach and expert, I understand the challenges that come with raising children. Whether you’re a new parent or have been raising kids for years, there’s always room for growth and improvement.
That’s why I’m here to help. By working with me, you’ll gain the knowledge and skills you need to become the best version of your parenting self. We’ll work together to identify your strengths and weaknesses, set goals, and develop actionable strategies to overcome obstacles and create a harmonious family environment.
Studies have shown that parents who seek guidance from professionals are better equipped to handle the challenges of raising children, resulting in improved mental health, stronger family relationships, and better academic outcomes for their children.
So if you’re ready to take your parenting skills to the next level, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I’m here to support you every step of the way. Let’s work together to create a happy and healthy family life that you and your children can thrive in. You can book your free consultation with me today. Just click here.
Hey there, super parents! We know parenting can be a rollercoaster ride filled with ups, downs, and loop-de-loops. But amidst the chaos, it’s crucial to remember that our presence makes a world of difference in our little ones’ lives. So, let’s dive into some fun and fabulous ways to show up for our kids and make every moment count!
1. Unplug and Tune In: The Power of Presence Time to hit the pause button on our screens and tune in to our kiddos! Whether it’s chatting over a scrumptious meal or snuggling up for storytime, giving them our undivided attention shows them how much we care. So let’s put down those phones, turn off the TV, and truly listen to their thoughts, dreams, and wild imaginations. Trust us – they’ll love it!
2. Embrace the Magic of Family Traditions Who doesn’t love a good family tradition? Be it weekend pancake breakfasts, movie nights, or impromptu dance parties, these special moments create memories that last a lifetime. Plus, they’re a fantastic way to strengthen your bond and sprinkle some magic into everyday life. So go ahead, whip out those aprons, bust a move, or snuggle up for a film fest – your kids will adore it!
3. Get Curious and Explore Together Channel your inner explorer and embark on thrilling adventures with your little ones! Whether it’s a nature hike, a scavenger hunt, or a DIY science experiment, nurturing their curiosity and learning together is a surefire way to show up in their lives. So don your adventure hats and get ready to discover the wonders of the world alongside your kids!
4. Cheer Them On: Be Their Ultimate Fan Nothing boosts a child’s confidence like having their own personal cheer squad (aka YOU!). Show up at their games, recitals, and school events to support their passions and celebrate their achievements. Your encouragement and belief in their abilities will empower them to reach for the stars and shine bright!
5. Be Silly, Be Playful, Be Present Let your inner child run wild and embrace the joy of play! Get down on the floor for a game of Legos, join in a make-believe tea party, or have an epic pillow fight. By being playful and engaging with your kids, you’re not only showing up for them but also creating priceless memories filled with laughter and love.
So there you have it, dear parents – some fantastically fun ways to show up and be present in your kids’ lives. Remember, it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Now go forth and sprinkle some joy into your family life!
What are some ways you show up for your kids? Share your tips and experiences in the comments below! 🌈💖
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#ParentingFun #ShowingUpForOurKids #FamilyJoy #AmandaIrtz
Parenthood is undoubtedly one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences in life. It is a role that demands a great amount of love, hard work, and sacrifices. From sleepless nights to endless cleaning, parents do it all for the sake of their children’s well-being and happiness. However, despite their superhero-like tendencies, parents are human too, and it is okay for them to have a bad day, feel exhausted, and need a moment to themselves.
As a mother of two, I am no stranger to the overwhelming feeling of responsibility that comes with raising children. There are moments where everything feels out of control, and the weight of the world seems to be on my shoulders. As much as I try to be strong for my kids, there are days when I just can’t keep it together. Recently, when my car broke down on a mountain pass in Colorado with my children in the back seat, a wave of fear and panic washed over me. I was terrified that something would happen, and I wouldn’t be able to protect my kids.
Despite my fear, I was able to safely get us to our destination, but the trauma of the experience lingered. I knew I needed a moment to myself to recover from the emotional toll it had taken on me. In the past, I would have pushed through and put the needs of my family before my own, but this time I knew better. I needed to take care of myself before I could take care of anyone else.
Eleanor Brown, inspirational speaker and author states,”When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” Taking a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts allowed me to come back to my family with a renewed sense of energy and composure. My children, being the wise and intuitive beings they are, recognized this need and showed me unconditional love and support. They reminded me that it is okay to have a bad day and need a break. They reminded me that taking care of myself was just as important as taking care of them.
Parents often feel guilty for needing a moment to themselves, but self-care is essential for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Parenting is a full-time job, and just like any other job, we need to take breaks to recharge our batteries. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or just sitting in silence, taking a moment to ourselves can make all the difference in how we show up for our families.
It is okay for parents to have a bad day, feel exhausted, and need a moment to themselves. We are not superheroes; we are humans, and we need to remember to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of those we love. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, know that it’s okay to take a break. Your family will understand, and you’ll come back better than ever.
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Two weeks of my life were completely consumed by taking care of my sick son. I had to keep him home from school, cancel plans, and put aside work for the time being. While it may have been easier to send him back to school with a cough and fatigue, I knew that his wellbeing was more important than anything else.
As a parenting coach, I understand the importance of teaching children to take care of themselves and listen to their bodies from a young age. According to the CDC, “mental health is an important part of overall health and wellbeing for children.” It is crucial that we prioritize our children’s mental and physical health above all else, as this will lead to greater success in all areas of life.
Wellbeing Today to Prevent Burnout Tomorrow
When I prioritize my son’s wellbeing, his self-esteem grows and he feels more confident in himself. This goes hand in hand with avoiding burnout. Burnout is a real problem, even for children. Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist, states that “overbooking and over -scheduling children is a true problem that can lead to burnout.” In today’s world, children are often expected to excel in academics, sports, music, and other extracurricular activities. It is important to remember that our children are not robots and they need time for rest and self-care.
During the two weeks that my son was sick, I made sure to set aside time for his studies. We focused on reading Greek mythology, learning algebra, and studying ancient civilizations. It wasn’t about being perfect or keeping up with his classmates, it was about making progress and feeling a sense of accomplishment.
When it was time for my son to go back to school, he was nervous. He worried about being judged for missing so much time. But I reminded him that what truly matters is his heart and wellbeing. When those are in tact, he can accomplish great things. And he did. He went back to school with a newfound sense of confidence and excelled in all areas.
Children’s Wellbeing is a Key to Success in Life
In conclusion, caring for our children’s wellbeing is the key to success in life. Prioritizing mental and physical health over academics and extracurricular activities can lead to greater self-esteem and a lower risk of burnout. Let us teach our children to listen to their bodies and take care of themselves, and they will thrive in all aspects of life.
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I know some of you were a little surprised when I chose not to let my daughter stay at the sleepover last weekend, and I thought I’d take a moment to explain why.
First of all, let me say that I totally get why sleepovers are fun! As a kid, I loved staying up late with my friends and feeling like we were having our own little adventure. And I know my daughter was really excited about the idea of spending the whole night with her buddies.
But as a parent, my top priority is making sure my child is healthy, happy, and well-rested. And the truth is, when it comes to sleep, our kiddos need a lot more than we might think. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, preschoolers should be getting 10-13 hours of sleep per day, and school-aged children should aim for 9-11 hours.
Now, I don’t claim to be a sleep expert, but I do know that when my daughter doesn’t get enough rest, she’s a lot more irritable and prone to meltdowns. And when she’s had a solid night’s sleep, she’s much more likely to be cheerful and engaged throughout the day.
So, while it was a tough decision, I ultimately decided that the sleepover wasn’t a great fit for my daughter right now (age 10). Instead, my daughter had a blast at the daytime portion of the party, which lasted for more than five hours. She got to hang out with her friends, play games, and eat way too much sugar (hey, it’s a party!).
Here is my response … get ready because it isn’t popular
That night, she crawled into her cozy bed a little earlier than usual, and before I knew it, she was sound asleep. In fact, she slept for a full 12 hours, which is pretty unheard of for her! When she woke up the next morning, she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to tackle the day.
I know every family has their own approach to sleepovers, and that’s totally fine! But for me and my kids, it just made more sense to prioritize rest over late-night giggles. And I’m happy to report that it was definitely the right choice for our little one.
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I’m not sure what I was more afraid of: my son loosing his last baby tooth or the entrance of social media into his life. One the one side, “officially” saying goodbye to that baby tooth pulled at all the emotional strings in my body. They reminded me of just how far he come – and how many years around the sun I walked since his birth. I didn’t want to loose my little boy: snuggling with me in the morning, playing hide-and-go seek at night, watching videos about puppies and kittens together. And, on the flip side, I was deeply afraid of my son stepping into the world of social media – or rather social media controlling my son. What would happen to him? Would I truly loose that little boy forever? After all, I’d read all the recent news about the dangers of social media in our kids’ schools and I lived it in my years of being an assistant principal. Honestly, I didn’t see any added value to opening this door for him.
Alas, I am not writing this article to reiterate all the dangers and restate all the horribleness that you already know about social media. This would be the same thing as never talking about safe sex with our kids and then grieving when our kids decide to learn on their own. You are welcome to stop reading if that last sentence struck a cord with you. Instead, this article is about embracing social media not because I like it, but because it is part of our world today.
The Digital Age
In 1995, the internet was becoming more widely available and mobile phones (remember car phones?) were more widely used. AOL was released, email began to be used for communication, and the first digital camera was released. Privacy was an increasing concern and the CDA, or Communications Decency Act, was passed in the U.S. to protect minors from viewing explicit material online. Social media had not yet been developed, making the rise of platforms like Twitter and Facebook in the mid-2000s an unprecedented phenomenon. Our parents, most of them now grandparents if you are reading this article, were standing in the same place we are right now.
Our kids today are growing up in a digital age, where technology and social media are integrated into our lives in ways that were never imaginable. It is important to recognize the potential of how this can be harnessed in a positive way so that our children can benefit from the resources available to them, while still keeping their safety in mind. Social media can be used to expand connections, foster relationships, and build skills that our children can carry into adulthood, making it a tool they should continue to use. However, with this new age of technology, comes a new set of responsibilities — teaching our children how to use it intelligently, safely and in accordance with our values.
Raising children in the digital age is tough, but there are a few essential tips to help parents help their children be mindful and responsible when it comes to social media. Positive Presupposition, Balance, and Modeling Desired Behaviors are key steps in helping children make the right decisions when it comes to their digital interactions. Establishing a set of expectations early on, such as keeping game time in family areas, no closed doors, and a time frame for use, is a great way for kids to understand the importance of online safety and etiquette.
Keys for Balanced Approach
Key #1: Let go of an all-or-nothing approach. An all-or-nothing or zero tolerance approach about social media is not conducive to teaching children responsibility, respect and safety in the digital space. As parents, we need to take it upon ourselves to provide our children with the tools to develop a healthy and mature approach to their digital activities, rather than adopting a black and white perspective with no room for discussion. In today’s society, social media is an integral part of many people’s lives, and we must be realistic in our expectations on how to use it properly and safely. My goal as a parent is to eventually send off my kids into the big world to make a huge, positive impact. I want them to have all the skills they need to do so. Honestly, I’d rather be their teacher about social media – than someone that might not have their best interests in mind.
Key #2: Instead of monitoring every move, take it as an opportunity to build a relationship of trust and understanding. Parenting doesn’t always have to be a scary and daunting task. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, so take the time to nurture your relationship and share the responsibility with your children. It may be daunting, but with a bit of patience and understanding, it can create the perfect balance between protection and exploration. After all, life is too short not to love your parenting journey. Allow your child to have some slack so they can make a mistake (or two). I like to be a partner in my son’s social media world. Instead of spying on him, deleting friends, and monitoring what he is up to, I have decided to be a neutral friend. So, I see what is going on, but I don’t insert myself and I definitely don’t embarrass him (that is an entirely different blog post). Think about it as standing on the street corner while your child walks themselves to a friends’ home or to the school doors. You are in the background. You are aware.
Key #3: Hold a positive presupposition. Constructively use a positive tone when interacting with children about social media use. Start with the assumption that kids will make the best decisions when given the tools to do so.
Key #4: Back to Balance. Finding a balance between protection and exploration is essential for children to develop healthy digital habits. Reasonable restrictions set by parents can ensure that kids are using these tools and platforms safely.
Key #5: Model healthy behaviors yourself. It is important to model the desired online behaviors so that children can understand the importance of digital etiquette. Take the time to emphasize the value of positive communication and how to respond to the platforms and other users appropriately.
Expect Some Eye Rolls
I’ll be honest, there are some serious eye rolls that happen in my home. I know this. I also know that my son is learning how to navigate this world – and I’d rather get eye rolls, then a whole list of other things that could go wrong. There are certainly days when I hear the quintessential, “but my friends’ parents don’t care like you do,” and “why can’t you just be cool and leave me alone.” Well, my response to this: I’m your parent. I love you. One day, when you’re an adult, maybe I’ll fall into the cool category. For now, I’m happy with the balanced approach that I’ve shared with you here. Thus, when it comes to our children and social media, it is essential that we find a balance. We must equip our children with the tools to make and understand responsible decisions on their own, while also emphasizing the importance of safety, privacy and respect when using online platforms. With this approach, our children can benefit from the positives of the digital space, while also learning to use it in a conscientious and thoughtful manner.
If you’re reading this, please like, share, and comment if it feels aligned for you. Also, know that I’m here for you. Please reach out to me here. To live your best parenting life, check out my latest workshops.